Thursday, September 4, 2008

Is she a lil' bit country, or a lil' bit rock n' roll?



Four months ago, the Republican Vice Presidential nominee named her* child after Van Halen.

Wired:

Trig Paxson Van Palin (an homage to the rock band Van Halen) was born in April. With Trig in tow, Palin returned to work a few days later, for a meeting of her energy team.

Four.

Months.

Ago.

It's one thing to have a few posters of a spread-eagled David Lee Roth underneath your bearskin rug, but to include a pun related to the band in your kid's name, that's so...dazed and confused:

EXT. BACK PORCH - NIGHT

Gathered with a few friends and family, BARRICUDA, wearing a VH 1979 World Tour shirt chills outside of AIP convention after-hours party. A joint of Great Alaskan Thunderfuck is passed.

BARRICUDA: (takes hit) I was thinking...(cough, snort) I was thinking of naming one of the kids Van Palen.

LEVI: You mean, like, (giggles) the guy in Dracula.

TODD: Nah, brah, like the band.

WOODERSON: Alright, alright, alright.

CUT TO... PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN TRAIL?!

And we're supposed to believe she is a serious candidate to be a heartbeat away from the Presidency.

But supporters shout, "She's the everywoman, the girl next door."

I don't want my neighbor running for Vice President.

*Yes, while questions still remain regarding Bristol's extended school absence and the slooooowest leak, amniotic or otherwise, since the Edwards love child story, I feel that the absence of further evidence absolves Gov. Palin of suspicion in any baby-switching plot.

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